October 1998

Musings Of A Tervlet
by gizzie

Dear Mom,

Can I call you "Mom"?? Hee, hee--we watched "Babe" last night. "I want my MAAAAAAA-mm!!" They laughed for hours. They are so easy to amuse.

So--I've been here almost three weeks, which is a VERY LONG TIME for a baby Terv. I still have memories of the shiny kitchen floor, my brother and sisters, and, of course, my REAL mom, she of the black, black face and many tasty faucets. But--don't tell her--as much as that was snuggly-warm cozy and safe--I like it better here. This is my destiny.

I have TWO rooms of my own, one where I stay while they are At Work at the same time, and one where I sleep. The former is BIG, She says I will "grow into it". Secret--at first, I thought She meant I was going to turn into a big wire cage when I grew up. I figured it out when she told Him she thought I would "grow out of" my sleeping room in a few months. Phew. I had NO idea how to practice being a cage. My sleeping room is RIGHT next to the big bed where They sleep. I did not cry AT ALL the first night (well--maybe a little), and after about a week, I figured out that when She leaves in the middle of the night, she's coming back in a minute, so I quit screaming. In the morning, when she opens the door, I RUN through the house to the back door, where Mega and I go outside for our morning pee. That always feels SO good.

Speaking of which--I never saw people get so excited about pee. If I look the LEAST little bit like I'm going to stiffen and raise my tail, She runs me outside. I usully try to reward Her with a few drops, and get this--She applauds. The first time I raise my leg, She'll probably cry. And Him--he is not real knowledgeable of The Way of Puppies. He was awestruck His first "YOU have to do the puppy-stuff" morning, she told him to feed me, then put me out twenty minutes later and I would poo. I did, and he thought SHE was wonderful, he called her At Work and raved. Duh. It's physiology, buddy, not magic.

There are other creatures living here. There is this HUGE white dog that they call "Mega", pretty appropriate. She was undone by me at first, she drooled all over me for three days, then avoided me, and now, tolerates me, but would rather I leave her alone. I can't help it, she's so cool, I HAVE to run behind her outside, and torpedo her when she's peeing. I also take whatever toy she is playing with. It's my job. The last few days, Mega is starting to play with me, it makes Her very nervous. He says "leave them alone", but She frets and worries and seperates us as soon as it starts to get interesting, like when Mega wallops me with that big foot. I run back and GRAB that foot, She gasps and pulls me away. Then we get a cookie. Strange.

There are birds here, too. There is a grey one, an African, and a green one, a Yellow Nape, on one side of the living room, the grey one is quiet, the green one TALKS (really) and laughs just like Her. They throw seeds on the floor, which I like to eat. If I get up on arm of the couch and look, the grey one comes down and makes clicking noises at me. She's kinda cool. There's a black one (Mynah) that lives on top of my Daytime Crate. I can't see him, coz there is a red blanket between us, but I know he's there. He talks a little, but mostly throws food and makes smelly poo. Then there's the white one, the Cockatoo. Willy. I have already figured out that he is King Of The Castle. He is evil, he throws stuff at me, then laughs, screeches 'till I can't stand it, bites Mega on the nose--when I grow up, I'm gonna eat that white bird.....

I have cool toys, a plastic baseball, a soft ball, a teddy bear, a sock rope, a jelly bone, a knotted rope bone, many sizes of natural bones (one is bigger than my head), an alien, a helicopter that makes a cool noise when I bite it (I like to sneak that into my sleeping crate, and bite it JUST as they are going to sleep. She swears and opens the crate and takes it off of me--He laughs) My favorite is the alien and the rope bone, but I also HAVE to have whatever Mega has--I just DO. I like to play with magazines, but They discourage that. Ditto couch cushions and shoes. I've twice attempted to chew power cords, and got yelled at. What the hell are these things doing on the floor if they AREN'T for me?? I'm also not allowed to chew the casters of the computer chairs, the legs of the foot stool, the bottom shelf of the book case, or Mega's face. And I'm not allowed to play with the towel that hangs in the bathroom. I ain't allowed to do nothin'.

I start school next week. She's excited, He just wants to pet puppies. She takes me outside on the black string and talks baby talk to me, it DOES make me prance with my ears up, that seems to thrill her no end. And if we come to a stop and I play "statue", she oohs and awes. We also play O B D Ence. I'm not real sure what is going on here yet, we do "heel", which I'm not too keen on, I get nervous being that close to her big feet, but when she says "sit", and I do, she tells me I'm SUCH a good man!! Cool. She has this white dumbbell thing that she throws, and then almosts bursts into tears when I go get it and bring it back to Her. Then she throws it again. One of these days, I'm gonna tell Her to get it Herself.

I don't much like being GROOOOOMMED. Ugly word. I have too many important things to do to be getting my hair combed. I like the car, but She won't let me sit on her lap and look out the window, and I can't see too good out the back. We go to the toy store, where She weighs me (I weigh 21 lbs), and everyone makes a fuss over me, and I get a cookie. I went to the doctor Wednesday, the ladies that work there LOVED me, and one even knew what I was. The doctor felt around under my tail and said "He has two, they are small, but they are there", and She seemed pleased. That night, His whole family came over, and Her mom, there were nine people in the living room, which was SRO. She was amazed and delighted that I was not afraid at all, I went from person to person and introduced myself, showed them my toys, and was generally so adorable, they couldn't stand it. I REALLY like the little girl.

They keep a great BIG water dish in the bathroom for us.

She calls me "Mulder". Mulder. Someone watches WAY too much elevison. She tells me that someday, "maybe next year", we will get a girl Terv, and she will be "Scully". She says we will be partners, but not lovers. I don't get it, but it seems to tickle her Phile friends spitless, whatever a "Phile" is. I DO know that, wherever I am, and wahtever I'm doing, when She yells "MULDER, COME!!", I STOP, and fly to her. She LOVES that. Why would I NOT come, she pats me and hugs me and tells me how wonderful I am. She's right, of course. She also gets misty when I lay my head on the floor and look up at her, like this----- ^ ^ . .^ And she sighs when I lay under the computer chair here, and put my head on her foot. I think there is a Ghost Dog under here....

All in all....I like it here. A lot. I heard her telling someone on the phone last night that she can't believe I'm a PUPPY, I act so much like a BIG dog, most of the time. I don't get into stuff (much), she doesn't have to watch me CONSTANTLY (sometimes), I don't torture the Wolfhound (too much) and I GO OUTSIDE (usually). She called me "the best puppy I've ever had."

Coolness.

love and licks,
Mulder

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