Title: Ice by Gizzie part of Gizzie's Deli on EP
Author: gizzie@ix.netcom.com copyright 1998-2000
URL:http://home.i1.net/~bakke/deli/ OR http://home.stlnet.com/~bakke/deli
Archive: Archive anywhere as long this header is attached.
Disclaimer: The X-Files and its characters, is the property of Chris Carter, TenThirteen Productions, and Twentieth Century Fox. No copyright infringement intended. Any similarity to characters, alive or dead, or situations is purely coincidental and unintentional.

Summary:
I just watched the episode "Ice" (with a Russian voice-over which is MUCH better than those cheesy French dubbings...) with my newbie mother and I think she ended up feeling a little gypped. When it was over she said, "So Mull-dar was not infected? Then why... why did he make such FACES? Here one thinks it's so cute: Mull-dar is all alone in that room all infected, and you wonder what they are going to do, and he's NOT infected? Then why such faces?"

So... uh... Since you are such an authority on Mulder faces, gizzie, I was wondering whether you could write a brief gizzified version of this episode to clear things up for her a bit. There is no such thing as a BRIEF gizzification.

"Ice"
According To giz

At the Icey Cape, where it looks like cold and flu season, Blue's mom is upset, no one will feed her, cos the two guys that aren't dead are trying to kill each other, but they shoot themselves instead, less chance of missing. No milkbones for BlueMom now.

Mulder and Scully are sent to find out what happened, they take a butcher, a baker and a candle stick maker with them, and they are flown there by Bear, a guy who may as well be wearing a red shirt. BlueMom jumps them when they come in, Mulder is QUICK, but BlueMom nails Bear, so they throw her ass in a crate. Bad dog. She has a thing moving under her neck skin, that is worse than fleas, and she has black spots in her doggy arm pits, and Bear has them, too.

Scully has been playing doctor, and she finds ammonia in the dead guys blood, and a single cell creature, that she thinks will grow up to be real flukey someday. Mulder says they'll have to be quarantined, Bear says no way, and Scully has to knock him down to keep him from taking off. While she is on top of him, she sees things this THING twitching under his neck skin, so they cut it out, Mulder almost pukes, and Bear croaks.( Guess they shouldn't have held him down by the throat.)

They can't leave anyway, cos it is snowing (again) so Mulder and Scully have a fight about whether or not they should kill these Tequila worm things, Mulder thinks they might be from another planet, and Scully thinks the same of Mulder. They all go to bed, but they are all scared, and Mulder gets up in the middle of the night, but instead of finding milk in the fridge, he finds the dead geologist, and the other three folks, including his loyal sidekick, find HIM bent over the body and think he's flipped. Scully points her gun at Mulder and he points his at her, he finally gives in, and she locks him in the shed, like Old Yeller.

The other two don't trust her, either, no one trusts ANYONE on this show, so to show how little she has to hide, Scully throws her gun outside (?) The other woman fucks up a blood test, but it turns out good, becausr then Scully sees that the Tequila worm things will kill each other, they stick a worm in the dogs ear, and it gets better.

The two want to do this to Mulder, Scully is SAD-mad, she goes to poor squinty-eyed doomed Mulder and tells him she has to feel for his worm, and he lets her, but then, he gets to feel her up, too. In the afterglow, they come out of the shed room and the other two jump Mulder and want to stick the worm in his ear, when the guy sees the back of the woman's neck doing the jitter bug, so they STICK IT in her, and she gets to wear a cool bio-hazard suit when they finally get rescued.

Mulder wants to stay and play some more, he LIKES these old, creepy things, but Scully makes it pretty clear that if he stays, he's going to be playing with himself.